Bands To Avoid in 2008 Part One

1. Joe Lean and the Jing Jang Jong
I have not heard a convincing reason why these indie fops should be considered anything other than well-connected industry players. At least The Strokes had some good tunes. The only possible defence has been their single Lucio Starts Fires, which is already the least memorable tune of the past 6 months. They are truly unremarkable to the point of needing to be burned.
Instead: anything. Seriously anything.

2. Foals
Pitchfork are already up their arses, which is surprising because Yannis is already taking root up there himself. Sure, their first shows were lively, diverting and fun, but it's mildly depressing that this incarnation of rippling math rock is going to supercede Battles and Don Caballero in popularity. Don't be suckered in.
Instead: Popular Workshop - intense, passionate awkward Sonic Youth-inspired noise

3. The Courteeners
Your bullshit detector should've already dismissed these lads as NME fodder, which they are. This year's Reverend and the Makers or The Enemy, we seem not to have realised that big mouths weren't why Oasis did so well. They had a knack for a fantastic tune too. Something these lads just don't have.
Instead? : Glasvegas - emotional, Scottish-Walkmen.

4. The Ting Tings
More and more bands are about image, fame and "the sound of now". This is why they should all be ignored in favour of amazing bands that went before. This pop duo, sounding like a more bolshy Kate Nash, gives you all your "everyone is a fucking sucker" needs.
Instead?: Operator Please - Australian, write actual tunes, with violins

5. Duffy, Adele, whoever else wants to be Amy Winehouse
Look. Winehouse is REALLY fucking good at what she does. Other people...they just aren't. Why these two were picked for the top of the wise old BBC's Sounds of 2008, I can only imagine. They are contributing nothing to the canon of soul songs which informed me of what emotional music is really about. They are just boring the passion out of me.
Instead?: Emmy The Great, Frank Turner, Jacob Golden - three singer songwriters with soul, lyrics and great songs.